ME

 

My tears are blocks of ice
My spirit's frozen in the past
I have no feeling in my hands
Though I'm desperately grasping
The backbone of Affection
Terrified of being left behind
To sit next to Hostility
Wasting time buying philosophy books
Possessing but never taking it in
Never truly feeling
That some are cradled in
The arms of Poverty
While others are hand in hand
With Fortune
I close my eyes, though still I see
Flailing oceans and rotting Tanglewood
People losing their lives
Playing silent chords with vacant eyes
I walk down a street where the houses are
Burning down, on fire for Eternity
For she is the ultimate goddess
Who everyone desires
Though the families inside are unphased
They are living in the plastic world
They call Normal
I collapse onto my knees
Realising The Meaning Of Life
Is Nothing
 
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I wanted to be a star

 

I wanted to be a star

I wanted to hang above the heavens
And shine brightly
I wanted to float in that black timeless space
And listen to stories told by other stars
I wanted to gaze down on people
As they gaze up on me
And be above their earthly problems
(My earthly problems)
I wanted to light the way
In the night sky
Guiding a lonely traveller
Helping him find his way
(Helping myself to find my way
Because I have no light in my night sky)
I wanted to stand out in darkness
People pointing and saying 'wow'
I wanted to be a star...
I wanted to watch other stars fall gracefully around me
And not feel sorry
I wanted to be placed above everyone
but have no power to control
I wanted to feel of some importance
(Important to myself)
Dying for a purpose is better than just living
(Living 'cause there's nothing better to do)
I wanted...
To not hear the yelling
The exhausted sighs, tired fighting
To not see the mean looks
Rolling eyes, angry faces
To not feel the depression
The hoplessness, need to cry
I wanted to be a star
Be above it all

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My shell

Inside my shell
My thougths are clear

Outside my shell
My thougths are corrupt
My dreams are not mine
My pain is growin
My love is dying

Inside my shell
My dreams are real

Outside my shell
The rain is falling
My body is bleeding
My spirit is broken

Inside my shell
My love is pure

Ouside my shell
Im caugth in a neverending nigthmare
Foreeverlasting nigths
Another season but no changes
No chance to escape

Inside my shell
My pain is distance

Outside my shell
My pain is too wellknown
An eternal wound
In a world without sunshine

Inside my shell
i cry

Outside my shell
I wander away in the darkest of nights

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Shattered Life

I have so many fears,
I feel so much pain
These tears that I cry,
They flow like rain
I can't live like this,
Being so lost inside
I need someone around,
That would care if I died
I don't want to love,
If I can't see his face
In my father's words,
I'm the families disgrace
Why continue suffering,
If it's never going to stop?
Why keep living,
As someone I'm not
I'm just so confused,
My mind is a spiraling storm
I slash my wrists,
My blood feels so warm
I feel a release,
As my blood pours out
My family won't even know,
What all this is about
I fall to the ground,
unable to move
I close my eyes,
To face my doom
I try to cry out,
But there is no sound
Nothing has changed,
No one's around
I reach for the door,
But I'm too weak
I surrender to the darkness,
And the death I seek
I take one last breath,
Before I die
I think in my head,
All this for a guy

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forgotten existence

i wish i had the audacity to say FucK You for forgetting me again

i wish your opinion didnt matter so much (to me)

i wish you would stop saying that youre emotionless
because ive seen the look in your eyes that says otherwise

i wish you cared enough to pick up your Goddamn phone
and actually call like you say you will

i wish...i wish...i wish

i wish i knew what (if anything) i mean to you...

damn it, you!.......

its not that i wish for more but all ive gotten is less

...youve forgotten me.... my entire being.... am i really so disposable?

...expendable...

 

i am
nothing more
than a

.
.
.
f
o
r
g
o
t
t
e
n
.
e
x
i
s
t
e
n
c
e
.
.
.

to you

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all i wanna do is

 

all i wanna do is
be able to stand alone
on my own 2 feet
i'm so sick of having to
be held up
no one even wants to hold me
up anymore
except you, & sometimes
i'm not sure if
you are holding me up or
fucking kicking me down
i guess
i'm supposed to miraculously know
that you're different from them
'just because'
you can't even explain why
yourself
so how am i supposed to know?!
jealous much?
over what,
something you don't
even
fucking
want. asshole. no ...

god. i don't even know what i'm saying anymore.

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Mental prize

 

Pick your own prize
upon my own broken mind
welcome to this hell in which you've fallen
knock the sense from yourself
and enter into my own oz
stars dance among the afternoon sky
falling dancers crumble to and fro
they die
simple suns and moons crown the night
whisper into my head the words
you've been chosen for this world
take this place from me
welcome unto my palace of horrors
i hope your happy, stay away
lift yourself from the floor and fly
gravitational pull from my head
tap this beat into your heart
welcome to this world in which i live
bleak, bare and forever yours
its the witching hour
and i must depart
lock the chamber doors of my mind
and welcome to this world inside.

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i can't take it

 

I cant take it any more.
All the anger you cause me.
It just wont go away.
It lingers till tomorrow,
But today never fades.

I cant take all this pain.
The frustrations too much.
Its never going to end,
And its all your fault.
Youre killing me.

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Black Rain

 

I hide all my pain and sorrow.
You see no expression on my face
With the exception of a forged happiness.
If only you could see though all the lies.

I sit at home and look at my life.
I feel as if there is a storm raging in my heart.
Its black clouds rumbling overhead,
Drenching my soul in black rain.

I try to forget all of the anger,
But it never seems to go away.
It remains somewhere in the back of my mind,
Continually growing until it prevails over my sanity.

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Anonymous

 

In a crowded room,
I stand alone.
No one seems to notice
That Im on my own.

You pass by me
You dont look my way.
You ignore me
When I have something to say.

You dont know my name,
Not that you care.
When I try to fit in,
You turn to stare.

You think youre better,
But I know its fake,
Cause actually, youre just like me,
Anonymous in the wake.

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